Kylie Lapid

• What is your personal definition of home?- What experiences have influenced/continue to influence and shape your understanding of home, belonging, and safety? Are there any core memories? (this can be a time/event, a place/location, an item, a tradition/way of knowing etc)
  
  

There are places where I return to after a long while and get a sense of nostalgia. I remember that at one point, that place was my home. I think of the memories I have at that place and I think of who I was in those memories. Home may be a place of familiarity and belonging, holding both good and bad memories that shaped who you are. But those feelings come from things other than places: friends, pets, family, etc, they all can hold familiarity and belonging too. After moving houses multiple times in my life, I’ve learned that home can be better defined as a sense or feeling rather than just a place. When my family moved out of their house in Lodi, I didn’t feel too sad. I had nostalgic memories of this house sure, but looking back at it most of these memories were me with my family. The feeling of home wasn’t from the house, it was from my family. So even after moving, I never lost that feeling of home.

• What particular place(s) do you feel at home, deeply connected and safe at? (Some examples are a community center, a specific park, a certain market or store, an event/gathering)

There are some places that I could not say where, but I know are home. On a calm, sunny day I visited a zoo in Stockton with my dad. We went to this small Japanese store to get snacks and ate them at the park. I remembered that I had done this before, but a long time ago. I remembered being a young girl at the zoo with my dad and looking at the sunlight beam through the trees. The trees that were towering so high, I never thought I would be able to touch them. Even though years had passed, I still had a glimpse of that warm feeling from my memories. The feeling of being at home.

• What parts of your personal/family/collective histories help you feel grounded in (or disconnected to) your idea and understanding of home? - When/if you feel disconnected to your cultural community, where do you go and/or what do you do to feel safe and accepted?

I am an amalgamation of everything that makes up me; I am uniquely myself, and it can make me feel alone. I meet people and build relationships with people who I can connect to while appreciating our differences. Many of these people are from school clubs and organizations, and some of these people are friends I happen to have met. Little by little, I feel less alone, and a bit more understood.

• What aspects of your identity do you feel most connected to?- What parts feel the most challenging to feel connected to and how does this impact your understanding of home and belonging?

I have always felt more connected to my Filipino and Japanese identity than my Hmong identity. I felt that their communities were more accessible to me growing up, probably because of the rise in representation for both of them compared to the little representation of Hmong culture I saw growing up. And I didn’t meet many Hmong people at school either. At one point, I would not tell people I was Hmong because I got tired of explaining what it was. This sort of created a disconnect with my Hmong identity, and that made me disconnect from the culture. Even though I am Hmong, I don’t know a lot of the culture. For a period of my life, I was unsure of how to identify because I didn’t feel Filipino enough to be in Filipino spaces, Japanese enough to be in Japanese spaces, or Hmong enough to be in Hmong spaces.

• Time isn’t linear–spiritually speaking, we carry our ancestors and descendants with us everyday. How do you hope to contribute to the healing, growth, and transformation of your people’s collective understanding of home, place, and belonging? Through your art, how do you hope to help your ancestors and descendants find home and feel + know safety?

I think of art as the most powerful form of communication. My art needs to call to both my ancestors and descendants, and build a bridge between them. This bridge will support the exchange of healing, growth, and transformation. Something that respects our history while addressing modern concerns. If someone could look at my art and feel a sense of understanding or connection, then I have successfully communicated my message.

Editorial Specific Questions

• What role does art/creativity play in your life? Is this connected to your journey of belonging? If yes, how?

Art has been one of the most important aspects of my life. I have always used art to express myself, and since I was young I’ve felt that art has expressed myself more effectively than words or expressions. I am able to feel belonging in myself through art because of the close connection I developed with it.

• What is one dream you have for your community?

I dream for my community to grow stronger and healthier. I want us to improve on our issues, and I want us to uplift and encourage each other, especially our youth. I want to raise a generation ready to take action, ready to be bold, but also loving and passionate. I want this community to be recognized and supported.

• How has this project influenced your understanding of community, belonging, home and/or safety?

This project and all the wonderful people on it have encouraged me to do a lot more thinking about identity and community. Hearing what people had to say about their experiences with their identity made me think about my own. I realized the importance of community, because I was grateful for every conversation in this project. It is important to connect with people and remind yourself that you are not alone in your struggles. It is important to feel a sense of home and belonging.

• After this project, what's next? Is there anything on your horizon or forthcoming for you as an artist/storyteller?

I am never going to give up art, and I hope to continue participating in my communities and telling our stories through art. Even in my personal work, I want to represent these communities like how I would’ve wanted in my childhood.

• How can people learn more about you and keep up with your work?

I’m still learning more about me myself, and since I’m a student my work is pretty inconsistent. I’m not quitting anytime soon though, so you may come across it again eventually.